The 2005 How Dare You Awards
Worst Title:
Aeon Flux (WINNER!)
The Chumscrubber
The Greatest Game Ever Played
House of D
The Prizewinner of Defiance, Ohio
Most Unnecessary Sequel:
Be Cool
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
Son of the Mask (WINNER!)
Transporter 2
xXx: State of the Union
Movie That Took Itself Way, Way Too Seriously:
Aeon Flux
Constantine
Kingdom of Heaven (WINNER!)
Memoirs of Geisha
Stealth
Biggest Disappointment:
Charlie & the Chocolate Factory (WINNER!)
Elizabethtown
Sahara
Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
War of the Worlds
Least Successful Remake or Reboot:
Bewitched
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (WINNER!)
Guess Who
The Fog
War of the Worlds
Biggest Computer Generated Obscenity:
Most of the Fantastic Four: The Fantastic Four
Everything but the People: The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl
The Dinosaurs: A Sound of Thunder
The Lizard Horse: Star Wars: Epsidode III: Revenge of the Sith (WINNER!)
The Space Jets: Stealth
Least Frightening Horror Movie:
Alone in the Dark
Boogeyman
The Cave
House of Wax (WINNER!)
White Noise
Most Forgettable Performance by an Oscar Winning Actor:
Michael Caine: Bewitched
Robert Duvall: Kicking & Screaming
Tommy Lee Jones: Man of the House
Ben Kingsley: A Sound of Thunder
Tim Robbins: War of the Worlds (WINNER!)
Most Forgettable Performance by an Oscar Winning Actress:
Jennifer Connelly: Dark Water
Jane Fonda: Monster-in-Law
Nicole Kidman: Bewitched
Shirley MacLaine: Bewitched
Charlize Theron: Aeon Flux (WINNER!)
Movie You Least Wanted to See:
Alone in the Dark
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
The Man
Son of the Mask
A Sound of Thunder (WINNER!)
Title That Best Fits a Porno Movie:
Happy Endings (WINNER!)
Inside Deep Throat
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
Pooh’s Heffalump Movie
The World’s Fastest Indian
Most Formulaic:
Fever Pitch: The formula in which a jerk must learn to stop being a jerk in order to get the girl. In this case he’s only a jerk during baseball season
Hitch: The formula in which a jerk must learn to stop being a jerk in order to get the girl. In this case he coaches other men how to be a jerk
Must Love Dogs: Two people who both involuntarily started internet dating meet each other and hope to fall in love despite complications and their undeniable chemistry
Man of the House: Another fish out of water story. This time a Texas Ranger must live in the house as a coach to a group of cheerleaders (WINNER!)
The Pacifier: Another fish out of water story. This time a navy seal is put in charge of keeping the five children of a scientist safe despite not being able to keep the scientist safe in the first place
Most Ridiculous Concept:
Doom: A team of space marines must be sent to a science facility on Mars because a mass murderer has been injected with alien DNA and has broke out and started murdering. He’s also contagious
The Man: A cop wants the men who killed his partner and arranges a meet by telling them he’ll be reading a USA Today. Predictably another man was reading a USA Today and now must help the cop out
The Ringer: When a friend loses his fingers and has no insurance, Johnny Knoxville decides to defraud the Special Olympics
A Sound of Thunder: A greedy entrepreneur is making a killing with his Time Safari company which allows people to go back in time to hunt dinosaurs. Despite strict regulations to assure the present isn’t affected, one hunter steps on a butterfly which causes a drastic ripple in the fabric of time (WINNER!)
White Noise: A recent widower thinks he’s hearing his dead wife in the snow of a television set but then starts hearing sinister ghosts too