The 2012 How Dare You Awards
Worst Title:
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (WINNER!)
Madea’s Witness Protection
Sparkle
The Odd Life of Timothy Green
Won’t Back Down
Most Unnecessary Sequel:
American Reunion
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (WINNER!)
Silent Hill: Revelation 3D
Wrath of the Titans
Movie That Took Itself Way, Way Too Seriously:
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Alex Cross
Battleship
Cloud Atlas (WINNER!)
Red Tails
Biggest Disappointment
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
The Bourne Legacy
Prometheus (WINNER!)
Rock of Ages
This is 40
Least Successful Reboot or Remake:
21 Jump Street
Dark Shadows
Red Dawn (WINNER!)
Sparkle
Total Recall
Least Successful Comeback Performance:
Cuba Gooding Jr.: Red Tails
Chuck Norris: The Expendables 2
Dolly Parton: Joyful Noise (WINNER!)
Arnold Schwarzenegger: The Expendable 2
Jean-Claude Van Damme: The Expendables 2
Most Forgettable Performance by an Oscar Winning Actor:
Nicolas Cage: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Michael Caine: Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
Russel Crowe: The Man with the Iron Fists (WINNER!)
Robert Duvall: Jack Reacher
Cuba Gooding Jr: Red Tails
Most Forgettable Performance by an Oscar Winning Actress:
Barbara Streisand: The Guilt Trip
Susan Sarandon: That’s My Boy
Reese Witherspoon: This Means War
Catherine Zeta-Jones: Playing for Keeps (WINNER!)
Catherine Zeta-Jones: Rock of Ages
Movie You Least Wanted to See:
A Thousand Words (WINNER!)
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Joyful Noise
One for the Money
This Means War
Title That Best Fits a Porno Movie:
Frankenweenie
Here Comes the Boom (WINNER!)
The Hole
Life of Pie
Lincoln
Movie That Most Resembles a Video Game:
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (WINNER!)
Battleship
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
John Carter
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
Most Formulaic:
A Thousand Words: The formula is a man must reexamine his life and his choices and stop being a jerk.
Jack Reacher: The formula takes the form of a bad ass who can beat up anybody and everybody and who must solve a mystery
Playing for Keeps: An immature man has to get his act together to get the girl
Rock of Ages: A movie that celebrates that girl that gets off the bus in a big city after leaving home
The Guilt Trip: Two mismatched people go on a road trip. This time with Seth Rogen and Barbara Streisand (WINNER!)
Most Ridiculous Concept:
A Thousand Words: A formulaic movie that adds a terrible concept of a tree that loses leaves whenever he speaks. If the last leaf falls, he dies
Battleship: We send a message to Planet G and they send back aliens to destroy us. The Navy will send them packing by destroying the mothership. I don’t remember any of this in the game
Man on a Ledge: A man must go out on a ledge in order to prove he is not guilty of stealing a diamond
The Watch: Four misfits who don’t want to be at home start a neighborhood watch and then battle aliens
The Means War: Two dead sexy CIA operatives must have heated, dead sexy battle over a dead sexy lady (WINNER!)