The 2000 How Dare You Awards

Written By Michael Shantz

Worst Title:

  • Dr. T & the Women (WINNER!)

  • MVP: Most Valuable Primate

  • Rugrats in Paris: The Movie

  • The Tic Code

  • What Planet Are You From?

Most Unnecessary Sequel:

  • Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (WINNER!)

  • The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas

  • Highlander: Endgame

  • Nutty Professor II: The Klumps

  • Urban Legends: Final Cut

Biggest Disappointment:

  • The Cell

  • Mission: Impossible 2

  • Shaft

  • U571

  • Unbreakable (WINNER!)

Movie That Should Have Had Action Figures, But Didn’t:

  • American Psycho

  • Bamboozled

  • Coyote Ugly (WINNER!)

  • The Crew

  • Quills

Movie You’re Most Likely to Confuse:

  • Down to You & Whatever it Takes

  • Mission to Mars & Red Planet (WINNER!)

  • Nutty Professor II: The Klumps & Big Momma’s House

  • The Road to El Dorado & The Emperor’s New Groove

  • The Skulls & The In Crowd

Disney Movie You Least Wanted to See:

  • 102 Dalmations

  • Dinosaur

  • The Emperor’s New Groove (WINNER!)

  • The Kid

  • Remember the Titans

Most Regrettable Performance by a TV Actor in a Film Role:

  • Jane Krakowski (Ally McBeal): The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas

  • Joey Lawrence (Blossom): Urban Legends: Final Cut (WINNER!)

  • Lucy Liu (Ally McBeal): Shanghai Noon

  • Marla Sokoloff (The Practice): Whatever it Takes

  • Marlon Fayans (The Wayans Brothers): Dungeons & Dragons

Most Forgettable Performance by an Oscar Winning Actor:

  • Michael Caine: Get Carter

  • Robert DeNiro: The Adventures of Rocky and Bulwinkle (WINNER!)

  • Richard Dreyfuss: The Crew

  • Robert Duvall: The 6th Day

  • Jeremy Irons: Dungeons & Dragons

Most Forgettable Performance by an Oscar Winning Actress:

  • Kim Basinger: Bless the Child

  • Kim Basinger: I Dreamed of Africa

  • Diane Keaton: Hanging Up

  • Gwyneth Paltrow: Duets (WINNER!)

  • Marissa Tomei: The Watcher

Most Reprehensible Body of Work for a Single Year:

  • John Goodman: Coyote Ugly, The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle, What Planet Are You From?

  • Keanu Reeves: The Gift, The Replacements, The Watcher

  • Winona Ryder: Lost Souls, Autumn in New York

  • John Travolta: Battlefield Earth, Lucky Numbers (WINNER!)

  • Bruce Willis: The Kid, Unbreakable, The Whole Nine Yards

Title that Best Fits a Porno Film:

  • Drowning Mona

  • Gone in Sixty Seconds

  • Pitch Black

  • Snatch (WINNER!)

  • Vertical Limit

Most Formulaic Movie:

  • Autumn in New York: The formula is a Hollywood staple. A jerk older man learns to be a better person through the help of a new love, who’s half his age (WINNER!)

  • Battlefield Earth: Battlefield Earth is your classic sci-fi film in which baddies from another planet have taken over Earth and we gotta put a stop to it

  • Family Man: A tried and true tale that shows a man what his life would have been like had he made different choices

  • The Replacements: Your classic sports movie in which a group of misfits need to work together to become great

  • Vertical Limit: One group is in trouble and another group must save them. This time while climbing mountains

Most Ridiculous Concept:

  • Big Momma’s House: An FBI agent and who is a master of disguise needs to dress up as a grandma to catch some criminals

  • Gone in Sixty Seconds: An old car thief must get his younger brother car thief out of trouble by stealing fifty cars in one night

  • Little Nicky: Nicky’s dad is the devil and when his command of Hades is threatened, Nicky must come to the rescue (WINNER!)

  • Little Vampire: The small boy from Jerry Maguire becomes friends with a child vampire and when vampires are threatened by vampire hunters, the small boy must find the courage to help his vamp friend

  • MVP: Most Valuable Primate: A fun-loving primate with a penchant for ice hockey skates fast, shoots hard, and drives everyone bananas

Michael Shantz
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