The 2017 How Dare You Awards
Worst Title:
47 Meters Down
An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power
Boo 2!: A Madea Halloween
F8: The Fate of the Furious
Same Kind of Different as Me (WINNER!)
Most Unnecessary Sequel:
A Bad Mom’s Christmas
Boo 2!: A Madea Halloween
Daddy’s Home 2
T2: Trainspotting
xXx: Return of Xander Cage (WINNER!)
Movie that Took Itself Way, Way Too Seriously:
A Cure for Wellness
A Dog’s Purpose
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
Mother (WINNER!)
The Shack
Biggest Disappointment:
All the Money in the World
An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power
Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Star Wars: The Last Jedi (WINNER!)
The Dark Tower
Least Successful Reboot or Remake:
Baywatch
Chips (WINNER!)
Jigsaw
Power Rangers
xXx: The Return of Xander Cage
Most forgettable Performance by an Oscar Winning Actor:
Alan Arkin: Going in Style
Michael Caine: Going in Style
Morgan Freeman: Going in Style
Anthony Hopkins: Transformers: The Last Knight (WINNER!)
Tommy Lee Jones: Just Getting Started
Most Forgettable Performance by an Oscar Winning Actress:
Kim Basinger: Fifty Shades Darker
Halle Berry: Kidnap
Goldie Hawn: Snatched
Charlize Theron: F8: The Fate of the Furious
Reese Witherspoon: Home Again (WINNER!)
Movie You Least Wanted to See:
Chips
Geostorm
Just Getting Started
The Great Wall (WINNER!)
The House
Title that Best Fits a Porno Movie:
Call Me By Your Name (WINNER!)
Just Getting Started
LBJ
Molly’s Game
The Greatest Showman
Most Formulaic Movie:
Geostorm: We’re all killed by the weather. Been there done that. (WINNER!)
Going in Style: Old men being funny like in Grumpy Old Men, only this time they’re robbing a bank.
Happy Death Day: A horror movie for fans of Groundhog Day. This time a college student keeps getting murdered every day.
Just Getting Started: Old men being funny like in Grumpy Old Men, only this time they’re avoiding a mob hit.
Life: Another form of the movie Alien. Just not as good.
Most Ridiculous Concept:
47 Meters Down: If you’re going to go shark diving in a cage, everything will go wrong and those darn white sharks will keep hunting you until you’re dead.
Downsizing: You can save money by making yourself five inches tall. (WINNER!)
The Great Wall: White men are in China looking for the secret to gun powder when they decide to team with the men who want to imprison them so they can all fight monsters together. Got that?
The Hitman’s Bodyguard: One bodyguard has to save the life of another body guard even though they’ve been trying to either kill or one up each other for years. Very good then.
The House: Two otherwise normal parents decide to inexplicably to start a casino in their neighbors house to save money for their child’s tuition, which somehow, the town took away from them.