The 2009 How Dare You Awards

Worst Title:

• G-Force: Gadgets. Gizmos. Guinea Pigs. In 3-D (WINNER!)

• Gamer

• The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard

• I Can Do Good All By Myself

• The Time Travelers Wife

Most Unnecessary Sequel:

• Crank: High Voltage (WINNER!)

• Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

• Saw VI 

• The Pink Panther 2

• Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans

Movie That Took Itself Way, Way Too Seriously:

• Halloween II

• The Box

• The Fourth Kind 

• The Lovely Bones

• The Twilight Saga: New Moon (WINNER!)

Biggest Disappointment:

• The Box

• Friday the 13th

• Land of the Lost

• The Lovely Bones

• X-Men Origins: Wolverine (WINNER!)

Least Successful Remake or Reboot:

• Fame

• Friday the 13th

• Halloween II

• Land of the Lost (WINNER!)

• The Stepfather

Movie Most Desperately Trying to Make us Cry:

• Amelia

• Everybody’s Fine

• My Sister’s Keeper 

• The Lovely Bones (WINNER!)

• The Time Traveler’s Wife

Least Successful Movie Involving Vampires:

• Cirque de Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant

• Stan Helsing (WINNER!)

• The Twilight Saga: New Moon

• Transylmania

• Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans

Least Frightening Horror Movie:

• Jennifer’s Body

• The Fourth Kind

• My Bloody Valentine 3D (WINNER!)

• Sorority Row

• The Uninvited

Most Forgettable Performance by an Oscar Winning Actor:

• Robert DeNiro: Everybody’s Fine

• Michael Douglas: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

• Richard Dreyfuss: My Life in Ruins

• Jamie Foxx: Law Abiding Citizen

• Robin Williams: Old Dogs (WINNER!)

Most Forgettable Performance by an Oscar Winning Actress:

• Jennifer Connelly: He’s Just Not That Into You (WINNER!)

• Julia Roberts: Duplicity

• Susan Sarandon: The Lovely Bones

• Hilary Swank: Amelia

• Rene Zellweger: New in Town

Movie You Least Wanted to See:

• 12 Rounds

• Amelia

• Cirque de Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant (WINNER!)

• New in Town

• The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard

Title That Best Fits a Porno Title:

• The Box

• The Blind Side

• He’s Just Not That Into You (WINNER!)

• The Lovely Bones

• Push

Most Formulaic:

• 12 Rounds: The Die Hard formula in which the cop must complete 12 tasks set by a brilliant villain who has kidnapped his girlfriend. The cop is a wrestler

• 17 Again: You can always count on the body switching movie and in this one Matthew Perry wishes he could go back to high school as Zac Effron

• Avatar: The formula in which a hardened soldier learns the customs of a civilization he knows nothing about enough to become one of them. This time on a new planet

• Ghosts of Girlfriends Past: A Christmas Carol remake in which a serial womanizer learns the error of his ways when visited by women of the past (WINNER!)

• New in Town: A big city girl finds herself in a small town with quirky, backwards people who will teach her to be a better person

Most Ridiculous Concept:

• Bride Wars: Two supposed best friends decide to become the worst people in the world when they both want the same venue for their wedding

• Crank: High Voltage: A man must keep his heart rate up with sex and stunts or his fake heart will kill him before he can get his real heart back

• G-Force: Gadgets. Gizmos. Guinea Pigs in 3D: A group of remarkable guinea pigs with weapons training must stop an evil billionaire from taking over the world (WINNER!)

• Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian: More shenanigans ensue when a security guard must save a new museum from all the statues and dolls that come to life after sunset all thanks to an ancient curse

• The Time Traveler’s Wife: A husband and wife have a difficult time sorting out their personal life because the husband is constantly time traveling against his will